Do you know what an “excuse” is?
An “excuse” is a reason that you
give to explain careless or bad behavior.
For example, if you are the manager
of a middle-sized factory of pencils, but you couldn’t meet the order that a customer
has placed (5, 000 pencils in 2 days), you need an excuse.
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You need to “have an excuse.” And
if you don’t have one, you need to “make an excuse” fast.
Here’s an example dialogue about
excuses:
A: Hmm, the shipment
of pencils is not enough. What excuse
did they give this time?
B: They made some excuse about not having
enough raw materials.
A: As always, they have an excuse. I’m tired of listening
to their excuses. We’d better change suppliers.
As you can feel from our dialogue
above, the word “excuse” doesn’t exactly have a positive meaning.
Excuse vs. Explanation
If you compare the word “excuse”
with another word, “explanation.” You will notice a difference:
- Explanation = the reason you give for why something happened or why you did something
Ex. I guess I owe you
an explanation. (=I should explain to you)
Ex. I expect an
explanation from her.
On the other hand,
- Excuse = a reason that you give for a mistake, bad behavior etc.
Ex. She’s always
making excuses for her awful son.
Ex. Don’t you have a
better excuse?
Of course it depends on the
person and their opinion of what is an explanation and what is an excuse.
Sometimes when a person is angry, no matter what you say, every explanation is the
same as an excuse, and that person won’t accept or believe anything.
Different Kinds of Excuses
Like I said, if you don’t have
any excuse for a bad thing that you’ve done, you’d better make one fast. But
you must also remember that any kind of excuse isn’t enough. It should be the
“right” kind of excuse.
Here are different kinds of
excuse according to merit:
Reasonable excuse
Valid excuse
Legitimate excuse
Plausible excuse
Flimsy excuse
Feeble excuse
Lame excuse
Pathetic excuse
All the excuses in orange are
good excuses. All the excuses in red are bad and risky.
For example, Person A is late for
work…
A: I’m sorry I’m
late. I overslept. (=I slept too long)
B: That’s a lame excuse.
What Makes a Good Excuse?
As you might realize, if you do decide
to make an excuse, it had better be a good one. Making good excuses is very
practical and crucial in your everyday life. There are many times that people
try to use it to get out of a tight spot.
For example, if you’re late for a
meeting with a potential business partner, if you forgot to pick your
girlfriend up from work, if you made a big mistake at the office, etc.
Now the question is:
What makes a good excuse?
The most important thing about a
good excuse is it should be believable.
Of course the best option is
always the 100% truth.
Ex. I’m sorry I’m
late. I had to take my sister to the hospital.
This reason would be perfect if
it was true.
However, in many cases, it’s
really our fault. But for some reason, it’s difficult or inconvenient for us to
admit the truth. Especially if the consequence (negative result) is something that
we aren’t ready to face.
This is the reason why excuses
often come together with white lies*.
*white lies = small
lies
Because sometimes we can’t give
the 100% truth, we have to choose the excuse that is the most believable.
10 Tips on How to Make a Good Excuse
# 1. Honesty is always the best policy.
Most people will appreciate
honesty even though they did not like your action or its effect.
Make your explanation simple and
short. Say something like “I totally forgot. I am very sorry.”
The sincere apology is a big part
of it. You can say: “Sorry I messed up. How can I make it up to you?” or
“Next time I’ll try to do better” or “It won’t happen again.”
Then move on.
If you really can’t tell the truth,
please try # 2.
# 2. Ask yourself: Why don’t I want to tell the truth? What am I afraid
of?
Often the consequence (negative
result) of telling the truth, what we are afraid of, is actually very small –
smaller than we expect.
So, just face the consequence of
the mistake that you made.
If you don’t, soon you will feel
that your excuse is in fact true. In other words, you will start to feel
comfortable with your excuse and start to believe your own story. You might
even feel that you’re a clever person because of your excuse. This kind of thinking
is just another result of your protecting yourself.
If, for some reason, you still
can’t face the consequence of your action, please try # 3.
# 3. Aim to make an explanation, not an excuse.
The main difference between an
excuse and an explanation is that an excuse is an attempt to free you from
blame. On the other hand, an explanation simply tries to give the reason or
fact behind the situation. It doesn’t try to escape but instead accepts
responsibility.
Everybody makes mistakes. Be
mature and humble enough to admit it.
Ex.
Excuse: I’m sorry I’m late. I was stuck in traffic.
Explanation: I’m sorry I’m late. I left the house late so I got
here late. I could’ve avoided the traffic and, in fact, it wasn’t so heavy.
If # 3 is still not enough, then please
proceed to # 4.
# 4. Make a good excuse, not a lame one.
If you’re really determined to go through with it, if you've decided to make an excuse, then be sure to make a good one.
Like George Washington once said:
It is better to offer
no excuse than a bad one.
A bad excuse is one that you
didn’t spend much time thinking of. It’s easy to see through and it’s kind
of empty inside. It was all done in a rush.
And like what we mentioned earlier,
the quality of a good excuse is its being somewhat believable.
For example, here are some lame excuses that people make when they don’t answer phone calls:
Ex.
Sorry. I turned my
phone off.
Sorry. My phone had
been shut off for non-payment.
Sorry. I was busy
with my friends.
Sorry. I was helping
my baby sister with her homework.
Sorry. My dog is
sick.
# 5. Use your imagination; but not too much.
Often, in the process of coming
up with a good excuse, we have to exercise our imagination. This is part of
avoiding lame excuses.
Nobody likes lame excuses.
Listening to somebody who (you know) is just making an excuse is annoying enough,
but listening to a lame excuse is twice annoying.
Still, don't go overboard. Here are examples of over-imaginative excuses:
Ex.
Sorry. My cat hid my phone.
Sorry. Someone stole
my car.
Sorry. I broke my bra.
The sink fell down on
my foot!
I got robbed. They
took my cellphone too.
Although it’s a good idea to be
imaginative, you shouldn’t do it in excess. Don’t make your excuse too
complicated. Why?
Consider this phone call:
A: Hello babe. Are you sure you
don’t wanna go out with me tonight?
B: I’m afraid so, babe. Am really
tired. Just going to sleep now. And you?
A: I’m in the club standing
behind you.
# 6. Don’t take it easy after making an excuse.
Many people in most situations
know an excuse when they hear one. So, even though your partner seems to have
believed you completely (especially girls), they most probably just don’t want
to listen to your lies or have an argument. For now. So, think of the best way
you can make up for your mistake. Go try and fix it fast.
Maybe buy some flowers?
# 7. Don’t recycle an excuse.
People have a very good memory
for excuses. Have you ever heard of a “book of excuses”?
The person making an excuse
thinks the Book of Excuses is so thick, but the person listening to the excuse
knows it’s actually thin.
In relation to this, please see
# 8.
# 8. Don’t make a habit of making excuses.
If you ever avoid getting caught
one time, you’ll definitely get caught next time. Making excuses is addictive. One
excuse piles up on top of another till you can’t handle them anymore.
Remember: Nobody likes to listen
to someone making an excuse. Worse, nobody likes a person who has a habit of
making excuses. You lose credibility. And most of the time that you’re making
an excuse, you’re already caught, you just don’t realize it yet.
# 9. Avoid putting yourself in a situation where you are forced to make an
excuse .
Make an effort to change your
habits. For example, if you find yourself constantly late for your dates or
appointments, leave your house earlier. (Or set your alarm clock right.)
After you’ve already apologized
for the same mistake more than a couple of times, make this rule for yourself next time:
No excuses, no explanations.
# 10. Do not make promises that you can’t keep.
The best way to avoid
disappointing somebody is to not make that person expect too much from you.
This may sound like the coward way out but it’s the truth. A lot of people
overexert themselves by promising to do things that they can’t. In the end, they disappoint not only themselves but their partners (or friends) as well.
It’s
better to be a person of action, not words.
Hope You Learned
Something!
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