Wednesday, December 14

The Most Difficult Question

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What’s the most difficult question in English and any other language?

Some of you might think it’s a question that they ask in a job interview; others would think it’s a question in an exam.

But it’s the same in English as in any other language or culture. The most difficult question is, while you’re cuddling your warm girlfriend and it’s raining outside, she looks deep in your eyes and then she asks:

Why do you love me?

This, my friends, is THE most difficult question for men. And the most interesting for women.

The Cliff of the Physical

First of all, this question is more difficult than any girl can imagine. Because men don’t think the same way girls do.

It’s a well-known fact that men are physical-oriented beings and it’s very difficult for us to express our feelings. So, at the exact moment that the question is asked, every guy’s first instinct is to think in terms of a woman’s body and shape.

And it isn’t really the guy’s fault coz that’s just the way guys are.

Don’t get me wrong, ladies, your boyfriends do love you. It’s just that we really, naturally find it hard to talk about our feelings. That’s why we need a little preparation like this before we answer.

SO, if you’re a guy and your girlfriend catches you by surprise by asking you the most difficult question of all, the first thing you have to do is to block all thoughts related to physical things.

This is really important.

You have to realize how seriously the future of your relationship depends on the next few words that’ll come out of your mouth. I mean, if your girlfriend asks you this question, it means only one thing:

She wants to hear an impressive answer.

And I know that the first words that will pop in your head are:  “legs,” “lips,” “boobs,” or maybe “ass.”

Definitely not very impressive. Absolutely not memorable.

So hit the brakes before you open your mouth. And you can’t think too long either, coz she’s got her radar up really sharp at this exact moment.

If you already prepared an answer for this emergency, good for you. The other thing you have to watch out for is to NOT answer too fast. That’s also bad.

Make everything sound natural. Like you’re just coming up with the ideas at the moment; but at the same time don’t show any hesitation.

Anyway, you have to go against your nature. Like I said, all thoughts about the physical are out. These include her face, skin and just about everything you love about her. Stop thinking about all these. Then concentrate on what’s on the inside.

Yes, inside. That’s right.

The key here is: The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes, but with the heart. Keep repeating it to yourself: The essential things in life are seen not with the eyes, but with the heart. This is from Saint Exupery’s book “The Little Prince.”

*Note: This book is really thin and it has pictures, so you might wanna read the whole of it when you have the extra time.

So, transfer your mind away from her lips and hips, then focus on her inner qualities. I know it’s hard but this is the only way you can come up with the right answer.


1.       Her eyes. Talking about her eyes isn’t bad. “Eyes” is a safe answer because it’s said that eyes are like “windows to the soul.”

This means that if you talk about her eyes, you’re actually slightly talking about her PERSONALITY.

Speaking of personality, you can say that she’s smart, funny and sweet. These qualities are always good to mention (except if she’s really not smart or funny or sweet.)

2.       Her smile. Her laugh. These are also good. Although her smile is actually connected to physical attraction in your mind, it sounds good because you’re also talking about how you have had a lot of good times together and you like to make her happy.

You like to make her laugh.

Anyway it’s the truth, right? Because when she’s happy, you’re also happy.

OK. Now, after veering away from the Cliff of the Physical, you’re a bit safer. But right now, you have to be careful not to drive straight to the Wall of Clichés.

The Wall of Clichés

What is the Wall of Clichés?

Well, clichés are sweet words that your grandfather used to impress your grandmother with. And before them, their own grandparents also used them. So, if you put yourself in a woman’s shoes, you can imagine how you’d hate to hear sweet words that have been recycled so many times over – passed on from generation to generation.

For example, “Your eyes twinkle like the stars” or "I'd climb a hundred mountains just to be with you."


Why? Why do women hate to hear clichés?

Well, because every woman would like to feel special. You have to come up with words that sound like they were made only for her and nobody else in the world.

Sounds impossible? Yeah, I know. After all, billions and billions of people have walked and died on this planet. It’s quite hard to find an original idea anywhere.

But you can’t give up. Coz she’s eagerly waiting for your answer.

One way to avoid grandiose, rocket-propelled empty clichés is to go the opposite way: Go straight down to earth. Find special value in the most common, ordinary and everyday things. Enumerate all the small things that are unique about her - even the things that sometimes annoy you but make her just the way she is.

3.       The things that she barely notices so she’d think you’d barely notice. Her habits, her mannerisms - all the things you find very cute and charming about her.

For example, the way she takes an hour to put on makeup; the way she listens to you when you have problems; the way she’s gentle but very energetic and tireless when she’s shopping; how disgusting she looked when she had the flu and you took care of her; how confident she is every time you have a fight; how she bites her tongue when she’s concentrating hard; how she burns everything when she’s cooking…

Or you can talk about very deep, rare experiences that only you two have shared and have left deep impressions on her.

This is a really effective strategy.

The only danger here is, if your girlfriend is a fan of romantic movies, then this plan might just backfire. And you should know, a lot of women have seen A LOT OF romantic movies.

Anyway, it all depends on how you deliver it, how you make your answer all sincere, a bit funny and cute at the same time.  You just might be able to impress her.

In the end, if you just learn to highlight all those things that you'd normally take for granted - if you start to talk about all the things that you don’t usually appreciate and put in words, you’ll think of the right answer to give her.

Because you know you love her as a matter of fact, and it’s definitely not just because she has a great body or the face of a doll.

Who knows? You might end up saying something really clever like:

I love you because you bring out the best and worst in me. Sometimes you drive me crazy and I just wanna kill you or myself. But always you make me happy. And what’s more amazing is, you are completely unaware of your power over me. You have given me so many good things just by being yourself."

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